O Lord, thinking about you, being fascinated with theological ideas and discussions, being excited about histories of Christian spirituality and stimulated by thoughts and ideas about prayer and meditation, all of this can be as much an expression of greed as the unruly desire for food, possessions, or power. Every day I see again that only you can teach me to pray, only you can set my heart at rest, only you can let me dwell in your presence. No book, no idea, no concept or theory will ever bring me close to you unless you yourself are the one who lets these instruments become the way to you. But…
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Stability I: Benedict Comments on Gyrovagues and “Quantum Leap.”
Since the semester in Los Angeles that I read “Compassion” (which was co-authored by Henri Nouwen), I have had both the desire as well as the conviction that I needed to live in an intentional community. In 2003 I was confirmed Roman Catholic for many reasons, the greater of which was to discern a vocation to the be a monk or join some other order. As of the date of this writing I neither live in a formal intentional community or a monastic order. I do not have a family or a partner and am not moving toward having one. So when I read St Benedict’s instruction on stability I…
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Kevin’s Grace and the Mennonite Campaign for My Soul.
It was a rocky and complicated relationship I had with the church I was attending in Pasadena, California I had been attending. By rocky I mean horrible and by complicated I mean extremely painful. Even though by then I knew that it was the Body of Christ, the Church, that was the love of my life, I was seriously considering a separation. I don’t know how these ecclesial spats get rolling but when they do it can quickly become a snowball from hell. I thank God Kevin moved to town or my faith may well have gone a different direction.
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The George Man Speaks
Right out of college I attended the Los Angeles Church of the Nazarene while I was studying Urban Ministry there. The Church community was very intentional about ministering in the city, being hospitable to everyone, and really living life in community. It was there that I met “George Man.” George is a character, a man with a remarkably interesting life and a man who demands a lot of attention from you when you are around him. Even though I have moved far away from him, 18 years later he is still shaping my life.
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Ninja’s Teeth and the Relentless Love of God.
When I was just out of college I was pretty hell-bent on changing the world. Hopefully I still am but back then I was far less patient to see the results of my efforts. I had moved to the heart of Los Angeles to study a year of urban studies as well as fulfill an internship at the First Church of The Nazarene on Third & Vermont. I was ready for adventure, but not for the hard work of everyday care and concern for other who sometimes annoyed me. Nevertheless something clicked at the county hospital one day when I tried to help “Ninja” get his teeth fixed.
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Foot-washing the (Disabled) Body of Christ.
We had spent the weekend at what was one of the all-time greatest celebrations of my life. We adorned our bodies with streamers and danced to the flute and accordion just before we processed in to the great foot washing service we were about to celebrate. It was a retreat being animated by Jean Vanier, the founder of L’Arche which is a organization of small communities all over the world of people with more and less visible disabilities living an intentionally communal life. We gathered in small circles to begin this incredibly physical and intimate rite of love. I’ve participated in this before but I had never entirely understood it…
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Misfits, Swans, Fear and Desire.
There are certainly times when every one feels like they don’t belong. Most of those times are in junior high school but the don’t necessarily up-and-disappear after college. It can even at times be excruciating even as an adult. However, I have been learning, especially in the last few years of not ‘fitting’ isn’t always something for which some people should strive.
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Listen.
“Listen…” -St Benedict For the record, I hate the word blogging, blog and bloggers. The words themsleves are far less elegant than painter dancer, baker, or custodial technician. Unlike the preacher or the academic, the blogger is not a formal office with any kind of authority. “It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers some to be bloggers?” Ephesians 4:11 ….and a little added. Hm.