Month: March 2012

I have come to believe that there can be no mature spiritual life without experiencing disappointment with God. When I was younger I would have cringed at the idea because so much of my faith hinged on my sincerity and certainty of my own convictions. Today my faith requires no less sincerity, but it does ask me to move beyond my own convictions to a place where I can be sure of what I hope for and certain of what I can not see.

"Disappointed with God"

Five Things I Will Never Give Up for Lent.

Published March 31, 2012 by Doug, the patient.

Five Things I Will Never Give Up for Lent.

Lent is pulling into the station and Holy week is just about to begin. I think there are lessons and moments of clarity I have discovered this year just by slowing some things down and cutting some things out. Part of what I have learned about the careful dance between God’s grace and our participation is the difference between trying to make things happen and making room for God and others to do things in us. I offer these in hope you can learn from my mistakes. These are some of my lenten attempts that, surprisingly, have proven to be enemies of grace.

"Disappointed with God"Tohu-Bohu

ashes grace habits lent pants repentance

Rinse and Repeat: How to find God …in the kitchen sink.

Published March 29, 2012 by Doug, the patient.

Until this year I have not been good at keeping New Year’s resolutions. I think I always swear to things which are a little out of reach in order to exempt myself from success. The voices in my head say, “Let it slide. After all, no one keeps New Year’s resolutions anyway…I guess I’ll just keep these 10 extra pounds for now.”

To my great surprise this year has been different. In fact it has actually caused a shift in my spirituality that I have been longing for. I think it is good news for all of us. My resolution is this: rinse and repeat.

Tohu-Bohu

Eat at Joe’s: A beautiful story of what happens when a band of misfits and atheists get their hands on the feast of St Joseph.

Published March 23, 2012 by Doug, the patient.

It is a habit in some parts of the world, to celebrate the feast of Saint Joseph with an elaborate feast, some theatrics, and a lot of charity. Some dear friends of mine decided that last night would be a good night to throw our own feast with our friends from Burning Flipside. One doesn’t have to know the burner community very long before one realizes that there are a good portion of the community, thought not all of it, with total indifference or heated antipathy toward religion and specifically the Christian Church. Having heard some of their stories, I don’t blame them, not a bit. So while most people didn’t really even notice or care about the religious significance of the event, I did, and one more piece of this particular outpatient was welcomed home.

The Burner life Tohu-Bohu

Then I Looked Up: The shocking revelation that plants and souls like to grow.

Published March 20, 2012 by Doug, the patient.

When I moved into this place its outside looked very much like my inside did. The branches of the tall trees drooped to the ground as if to hide the house everyone knew was there. The house kept dark. The yard looked very much like a bad case of male patterned baldness, only growing around the edges. The backyard was in no better shape. It was waist high in un-welcomed greenery and while I am not absolutely positive I think some of that greenery was, how shall I say, questionably legal leftovers from the previous tenants. Toward the south was a fairly ominous twisting of dead limbs that once was a tree and now became a kind of outdoor dandruff, flaking down little by little when provoked by even the smallest breeze. Yeah. My heart looked like this house. Things were growing where they shouldn’t and things refused to grow where they were needed. So when I started purging the untamed overgrowth, I became nervous I would never get the good stuff to live where I wanted it to.

Tohu-Bohu

garden growth hope lent passion Paul plants tree vine yard

How to Drive Out Snakes: Lessons from a guy who wasn’t even Irish.

Published March 17, 2012 by Doug, the patient.

How to Drive Out Snakes: Lessons from a guy who wasn’t even Irish.

Saint Patrick (Photo credit: elycefeliz)

The story is not so ironic as just surprising because it has been so long forgotten. St Patrick’s particular story of redemption, the reason he is considered a saint, is so mashed up with corned beef and green beer that when we finally do hear it does seem a little surprising. In fact just like the story of St. Valentine it can actually sound surprisingly subversive. The big reveal that makes the story so interesting is simply this: St. Patrick wasn’t Irish. In fact, he had good reason to hate them.

Tohu-Bohu

Community green Ireland.lent love Patrick saint Saint Patrick snakes St Patrick

What Withered Hands Can Heal: How John’s profoundly disabled body kept me in the game.

Published March 7, 2012 by Doug, the patient.

John’s body was less like mine than anyone else’s in the room. In that room full of people with some very unique bodies and abilities, that was saying a lot. It was the end of a weekend I spent on retreat with L’Arche, which is a set of communities of people with disabilities and the people who choose to build a life with them.

Wings — A picture of another celebration at L'Arche Antigonish, Canada

L’Arche retreats are celebrations that, in some ways, put Burning Man to shame in creating an environment where everyone can unapologetically be themselves. I knew the people in room were experts in living with unique limitations and gifts, but I still could not imagine how the evening would unfold in a way that John could fully play along.

Tohu-Bohu

burning man Community Dance disability disciples foot washing grace hands jesus Joy L'Arche lent Serve Service wheelchair withered

Published March 3, 2012 by Doug, the patient.

I recently wrote a guest post for Dr. David J Dunn on his blog. He is a great friend and amazing theologian with sharp contemporary insights. I am writing for a different audience and focusing on the positives of what other’s have experienced as a horrible childhood. I like to think of it as rich and challenging experience that didn’t entirely push me over the edge. These are thoughts on the best of it.

“I have always wanted to be holy, I just could never figure out how. As a very young child in the Church of the Nazarene I would hear wondrous stories of revival and passion and healing and transformation, I just couldn’t seem to get my hands on it personally. This was not for the lack of trying, I just didn’t know how to try…

Continued at David’s Blog “Nazbeen Confessions: From an Outpatient Monk”

Worth Repeating

Month: March 2012

Disappointment with God: We are in over our heads.

Five Things I Will Never Give Up for Lent.

Rinse and Repeat: How to find God …in the kitchen sink.

Eat at Joe’s: A beautiful story of what happens when a band of misfits and atheists get their hands on the feast of St Joseph.

Then I Looked Up: The shocking revelation that plants and souls like to grow.

How to Drive Out Snakes: Lessons from a guy who wasn’t even Irish.

What Withered Hands Can Heal: How John’s profoundly disabled body kept me in the game.